I test well.
I like to think that I can be creative too.
All of this adds up to huge platter of pressure.
I generally like school. I enjoy learning and thinking. However, like your average student, I don't always enjoy the workload.
Which got me thinking-- what is the workload for? Is it school's way to measure what I have learned? I know that I've learned. Why should I have to prove it to someone else?
So far, the only answer seems to be 'to get into a good college.' Perhaps also to assure my teachers' pay. Now, the latter reason I'm all for, but I'm no longer so sure of the first.
To start with the now: This past quarter, I ended up in tears more than once due to my mounting pile of work to be done. That can't be healthy, and it sure was not fun. Stress hurts.
Moving on to the post-now: I am genuinely excited to go to college and specialize. I look forward to it immensely. But, I don't necessarily believe that an "elite" college will give me a "better" education than any other institution. My mother has staunchly avowed that I will attend a college that is "good enough for me." This forces me to consider only those whose applicants are the type of person I avoid being-- over-stressed, over-worked, over-achieving, members-of-20-extra-curriculars, play-when-injured-athletes, focused-to-the-point-of-blindness, future-all-planned-out wayyyyyyyyy over-stretched suburban teenager. My goodness. I like to breathe. Now, I know my picture is over-generalized and most likely stereotyped, but I know some of these people. And I also know that I don't want to be them.
However, I also don't want to be bored. I'm not about to apply to Community College. But, I'm not convinced that I need a network of super-intelligent people, or at least people with a level of intelligence comparable to mine, in order to learn effectively. There is a reason independent study programs exist.
To bring it back to the point: Do I need to work myself to tears? If it's just to get into a school environment that I'm not sold on entering, then I'm not so sure anymore.
After college, I will be finished with formal education. I know that about myself. I will most definitely keep on learning, but not in a classroom. I would prefer to become a productive member of society.
Which might lead to the question, do I want to go college at all? But, I have no intentions of murdering my parents :)
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